The key is to never quit quitting.

This little corner of mine on the internet was once semi-popular. I had a lot to say years ago. There are blogs I enjoy to visit where the author updates the viewer daily with snippets, humor, news, or what have you. Sometimes, I’m envious of the ability to just share the mundane. It’s how we get to know each other beyond first impressions, beyond the surface.

My blog has always dealt with some form of depression or suffering, or “radical” realization. Since making a few changes in my life some short years ago, I’ve had very little to share outside of one topic specifically. Hence, the need for this update.

I’m making yet another attempt to quit smoking. I’ve been told many times by They, “The more you try, the easier it gets. The key is to keep trying.” So, for perhaps the 5th time in three years, I’m giving it another shot. In my case, it doesn’t get easier with each attempt. The physical and psychological effects seem to compound with each attempt.

Some might ask, (and by some, I mean no one), “Why are you trying to quit?”  Well, I’ll tell you busybodies why: I’m just damn-straight tired of smoking. I’m tired of smelling it. I’m tired of tasting it. I’m tired of fatigue. I’m tired of dependence. I’m tired of addiction. I’m tired of regretting those first few smokes.

I’m tired of disappointing my wife. I’m tired of having her suffer my smell. I’m tired of my smell. I’m tired of having to go outside in shit weather to feed my habit. I’m tired of my little car serving as both a method of transport and an ashtray.  I’m tired of doubting the force of  my will.

I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.

…and if I haven’t mentioned it already, I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.

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2 responses to “The key is to never quit quitting.

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