Privacy, Common Sense, and Class.


Forgive the use of a cheese-y show, where someone is always dying and no one knows what’s wrong until the final 10 minutes of a 60 minute show as a way of getting a point across.  However, watching an older episode tonight, I encountered a pet peeve.  Actually, the whole show was bugging me because it “rode the fence” on an issue, and used ridiculousness as a way of getting its point across.

The point in question was fidelity.  I’m all for it, and that’s not the problem.

Allow me to sketch this out:  A youngish couple is about to get their sauce on in the woman’s apartment during high noon.  The man is rounding second, sliding into the third, when the woman’s husband opens the door to the apartment, apologizing to his wife while bringing to her attention something she needs to sign which pertains to their daughter.  The woman, (who is now The Wife), reads over the paperwork and signs while The Husband awkwardly introduces himself to The Wife’s stud, who’s standing there trying to look cool with a chubby.  The paperwork is signed, and The Husband offers his farewell all the while apologizing, as he makes his exit.  Cool Dude and The Wife are about to go back at it again, when The Wife suffers severe abdominal pains.  [Queue opening music and introduction of the doctors.]

The entire show played both sides of the fence, which some people might be a fan of, but not I.  Pick a side and ride with it.  But no.  The couple with the open marriage were shown in two different ways:  One, an open marriage is logical and healthy because all needs, (marital and/or extra), shall be met.  Emotions need not apply.  There is no need for jealousy, as the emotion is not rational.  Two, an open marriage will raise the probability of a twice-German named parasitic infection that will have you doubled over in pain, and on the verge of death.

One of the doctors, a rather ratty-looking man, has a history of cheating on his wife.  While out to dinner with his wife, he mentions his patient’s lifestyle and its apparent success.  His perpetually saddened, yet loving wife offers him the choice of an open marriage, only to later have a breakdown in the parking lot of the hospital unable to go through with her proposition.  Her putz of a husband never turned down the offer of an open marriage from the jump, and now has to deal with the guilt.  In this relationship logic has taken a backseat to the emotion, especially that of jealousy.  The green monster shall not be denied!

Long story short and back to the original couple, The Wife ended up being allergic to sperm or some shit, and being that she had an endless supply from The Husband and her studs, she was pushing the limit of sperm digestion/ingestion or some shit — and she wasn’t dying because of the open marriage per se.  It was only an allergic reaction to an uncontrolled substance.  Also, it turns out that The Husband bad previously lied about having trysts on the side, meaning he allowed The Wife to live her promiscuous dreams while never partaking himself.  Why?  Because he genuinely loved her.  *le barf*

Just 15 minutes into the show, I was asking my wife as well as myself, “Who gives a flying fuck’s ass what these people are doing with their lives?”  “What exactly is the lesson here, if any?”  “Why is a thread like this so popular with the show?”

Then it hit me, 99.9% of you couldn’t mind your Frikkin’ business even if you were paid to do so.

Privacy, common sense, and class.  A sprinkle of each goes a long way, kids.


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