I am now a married man. I have been so since a little before the Ides of March. The tranquility of my life now I find very rewarding. As of this post, I feel very fortunate. However, life is not all peaches and cream. We have obstacles we’re working our way through, and hurdles we must jump. I suppose it’ll be like this for as long as we’re married – which in no way should be interpreted as a complaint. I’m enjoying this new life. I guess the purpose of this post is to point out (to myself) the pros and cons of leaving my old life behind.
I don’t miss my weekly club(s) visits, where I end up smoked out, drunk, and two-hundred dollars poorer. I don’t miss having to be civil around some people I fantasized choking. I don’t miss the fakeness of “scene-people”, clueless to the origins of said scene, oblivious to their own inanity. I don’t miss the lonely nights, and I don’t miss the way I filled those lonely nights.
I do miss the loud music, the energy of a room full of people “marching” to the same drum. Sometimes I even miss the freedom from responsibility that the abuse of alcohol shall always provide. It was fun meeting new people, even if they would sooner-than-later shame themselves, or allow me to shame them. Only the most carnal side of my character misses…
Reaching Golconda, in a sense, has allowed me to pursue other interests which are beneficial to my life and to my career. When I’m not at work, I’m at the gym, burning off the poisons and the fat that I accumulated in my late 20’s. Four weeks in, and I’m already starting to see a difference. On top of that, the Chantix I’m taking to quit smoking is actually working. The last couple of times I smoked, it tasted as if I were willfully inhaling burning synthetics. I can honestly say (to myself) that I shall I not smoke again.
Coming from a total noob like myself when it comes to the subject of marriage, I still feel it imperative to say that the reality of marriage is rather stark, especially in these times. Statistically speaking, we’re paddling upstream with broken paddles. The numbers are bad; I know more adulterers than I care to admit; and people are just plain brainwashed MTV-style into living fast lives with no sense of integrity, duty, or honor. With that said, I won’t pretend here (to myself) that I have the answers to a successful commitment. Happen what may, and we’ll take it from there. Or happen what may, and I’ll take it from there.
As it stands at present, this new life, overall, is pretty grand (to me).