And today, I’m an awkward adult. Many factors come into play – one of the main factors being that I’m an “Introverted iNuitive Feeling Judge“, according to numerous Jung/Myers-Briggs personality tests. Of the 16 personality types, made up of 32 “dichotomies”, broken down to a 4-letter acronym for easy access – my type, the INFJ – is the rarest of all types. Sounds kind of cool, right? WRONG. We are not diamonds in the rough. We’re just the closest to achieve the title, (which I barely believe in), of being “individuals”. Any honest attempt at the title is easily and summarily dismissed by the few things most, if not all, INFJs have in common. Without breaking off on a tangent with pesky details, I’ll just mention music. As rare as we’re listed to be, at 1% to 2% of the population, we’re slaves to the same sounds. That factor is enough for me to say we’re not individuals. We’re just a collective of freaks sprinkled here and there among the masses.
Living as this type makes life difficult for me, and before you assume that I’m investing far too much in some obscure personality categorizer, just try to see things from my eyes, wearing my shoes. There is little else in the way of explanation for my self-ostracizing, self-abolishment from mainstream society. And quite frankly, I truly believe life would be easier if I were almost any other type.
When confronted by the so-called “problems” of other people, which is a common occurrance among friends, I literally have to fight the urge to giggle, or pop them upside their heads, because the solutions to these “problems” are so much on the forefront of what’s inappropriately coined “common sense”. However, it should be noted, I don’t surround myself with silly and unintelligent people. I give my friends all the credit in the world.
What’s most hilarious to me, and to whichever of my close friends who will end up reading this, is the fact that I’m in a situation at present, where I have thrown all common sense out of the window. Another blessing and curse of my type, is the affinity for giving up the self for the betterment of others. At present, I have a decision before me, where I can sacrifice something major in order to supply something major. I won’t and can’t get into details, but I can say that it’s heavier than it sounds. On top of it all, the help that I can provide for this person will come at a very high emotional price for myself.
The devil is in the details, and I’ll never supply them for very valid reasons. And I suppose the point of this blog lies in the title, and how I feel at present, which is terribly awkward – just like every day of my waking life.