Jenka’s response to Sex=Success

Sex=Success, huh? I’m glad you explained yourself with the second and third posts on the subject.  I was nearly about to strangle you because of the first.  As I read them I imagined you with a funky ponytail on the verge of exclaiming, “TAME THE CUNT”.  Hehe, thankfully you made sense of your point in the end and it really wasn’t too far off base.

I feel the same in that I think the ultimate human goal is to replicate yourself. Obviously, sex is the way to do it.  But you totally neglected the process it takes to find a suitable partner for raising a child.  You focus on the act and what it yields but what about the search to find someone worth having children with? Even animals that function on base instincts still are somewhat discriminatory. It is most often based on “looks” or strength and ability to provide (birds – plumage; wildcats – physique/success on kills; penguins – “heartsongs”; rinse, repeat regarding, at least, the kingdom of Animalia.)

Do you not consider finding a compatible mate worthy of extrapolation? Or did it not cross your mind? Or is it irrelevant to your point?

I think it’s fairly important if sex is really a success.  Any man can blow his seminal fluid into a sodden, sweltry sleeve, but, I believe, it is important for the sentient individuals to separate themselves from the base humans in how they go about procreating.

Adolescents with little self-control and overcome by hormones, will engage in coitus and, unfortunately(because of poor sexual education and lack of accessibility to contraceptives), will achieve the ‘success’ you speak of too soon.  It’s either that or abortion.  I found your abortion view quite interesting.  Nearly compelling, but I still want to remain open to it when I consider exactly who the morons getting pregnant when theyre still in high school are!

This seems like a really complicated subject I’m not sure I can really ponder over and discuss in the short amount of time before anthropology class.  I definitely want to steer away from abortion and pregnancy in adolescence.  I’ll just hope that that sort of problem isn’t perpetuated by the children of those that made such mistakes in their youth(though I have seen the patterns).

I feel rather fortunate I am the spawn of parents that made very calculated decisions regarding sex and pregnancy(‘least mah mum).  If I were to follow in her footsteps, I’d have just over 2 years to find a father to my future children.  That means time to finish my degree AND get a job just before going on maternity leave! bahaha(THANKS FOR BEING RESPONSIBLE, MOM)

Back on course.  I’d like to differentiate between our kind(I’ve placed you in my group because I know the outcomes of certain events in your past weren’t always in your control[how dare a woman think just because the lifeform is dwelling within her body it’s HER choice alone!]) and the kind that goes out getting pregnant/impregnating before important rites of passage on the way to adulthood. So, spawning is the success, but how to go about it? This is where I find arranged marriage to be smart thinking.  Sure, the persons that are being married may not like the idea of not having much/if any say on who they are marrying, but it’s because it is understood by the culture that children don’t really know what’s best for themselves regarding marriage and childbearing.  Elders, on the otherhand, do know.  They’ve had years of experience.  They take many things into consideration and see a situation with a clarity that two kids in love can’t.

You consider sex to = success, but I think finding a suitable partner to have children with the success.  I don’t recall you mentioning adoption, tsk-tsk. Adoption isn’t as fulfilling, though, now is it?  We have an innate desire to replicate ourselves; yes, I agree–if we don’t replicate, we have failed.  But do we not fail if we replicate and the child grows up with an absent mother or father?  Is it really success to bring a life into the world and leave it to spend the first 18 years of life in foster homes?  Is it success to bring a child into the world and have it endure sexual/physical abuse by a mother or father? Is it success to see your mother procreating with different men and never actually knowing your own father? Or is success merely giving birth to a human that can eventually fend for him/herself and raise a family of his/her own?

I suppose I am convinced that the mere act of conceiving and having a child that reaches adulthood is success, at whatever cost.  But my focus would be more on the stable environment the child is developed in.  I have willingly spent a lot of time observing others “live life” because I know that the knowledge I take from their mistakes will aid in my not repeating them.  I have watched friends contract sexually transmitted viruses/diseases, have children out of and in wedlock, have abortions, divorce, win/lose custody, etc(I suppose I always have been a bit of an ethnographer).  These things have been physically/emotionally exhausting for all parties.  The last thing I want is to be that sort of statistic.  I want to raise children that can admire me for the decisions I made.  That I can proudly say I’d like to have follow in my vigilant footsteps.

This is my time to gather information and conduct research so that I can say my most important contribution, my final thesis, my magnum opus(hehe, this is too much fun) was composed with my absolute best and most educated efforts.  I am taking the good decisions my parents made and building upon that to create a better foundation for my future children.

I don’t need to have sex with strangers or people I barely know or am barely attracted to to be successful.  I am not slighting those who have taken part in such behavior, though.  My original reasons for it have to do with my upbringing.  I am abstinent now though because I am too educated to partake in acts that are only excusable for those who haven’t had the pleasure of being enlightened.

I feel I was enlightened at a rather young age, and although sometimes I wish I could participate in the acts the world at large take part in carelessly, I will take comfort in not having to deal with the not-so-fun consequences of such behavior.

I will attempt to go into what ‘suitable mates’ are in another installment ;-]

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6 responses to “Jenka’s response to Sex=Success

  1. Jenka, you are the light at the end of the tunnel. there were a lot of things I didn’t feel the “need” to do, due to my upbringing. And at this stage, I have to say, I don’t regret that decision at all. But as far as failing if we don’t reproduce, maybe in our most basic biochemical/physiological nature, but not in our rational, “why bring yet another child into this world of selfishness and self-absorption” nature. It may be yet anothe form of selfishness, but I don’t feel the need to reproduce to know that I’ve made a mark on the world.
    Finding a compatible mate is the only thing worthy of extrapolation at least for people like me. Now a days, in a world with 6.6 billion people, children are a byproduct of a very enjoyable act and not really a necessity to “perpetuating the specie”.
    In this world of “women have the right to choose” that right is usually abused (sorry for what you had to go thru Z) by women who seem to think that the other person who’s DNA helped create what she considers a “problem”, doesn’t have any say in the final decision, which only perpetuates my selfishnness argument.
    If sex really = success, then I, as a nerd, have to say that at least 70% of the population between the ages of 20 and 40 are miserable failures. That is, unless you count the ones that already have children, and have achieved their percieved purpose in life.

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  2. qrazy – I’m totally into the lifestyle of ascetics

    alexay02 – ha, I just used ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ in a different context yesterday as well. We’z on the same page, yo! And yeah, I was speaking in a bio/physiological sense, because I haven’t decided for certain if I am even going to have wombats or when I will have them. Though, when I’m terribly enamoured with someone, I get an intense desire to give birth to their children!

    I’m excited to write more about suitable mates. That’s coming up during my weekend break from classes.

    Thanks for reading!

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  3. I’ll start with your set of questions:
    “Do you not consider finding a compatible mate worthy of extrapolation? Or did it not cross your mind? Or is it irrelevant to your point?”

    I’m reminded of a scene from Terminator III: The Governator, while informing Nick Stahl and Claire Daines of the future of humanity, (and the fact that they marry and have children), he simply declares that he’s not programmed to understand the mating rituals of humans when they obviously deny the possibility. All he knows is that both Nick and Claire were of prime age for breeding. I had bended enough in the first post of the series by stating “meaningful sex” as opposed to sex with anything that poos. I’m no machine designed specifically to murder, but on this point, I find common ground with the Terminator. You see, I too do not fully comprehend our silly mating rituals. They don’t make much sense to me. Again, however, I’ll concede just enough to say that I do understand where you’re coming from.

    I wouldn’t be so quick to judge young folk as “morons” because they’re making babies in high school. Most of us in the United States are in high school from the ages of 14 – 17. A century ago, it was the norm for people to marry and bear children at such a young age. Since then, what has changed? Surely not the ability. Surely not the desire. No. What has changed is society’s outlook on what was once considered the norm. In the 80’s, the “right” age was some time near the age of 25. If you hit the age of 26, (formerly known as the “wrong side of 25”), and you hadn’t yet gone steady with someone for a significant amount of time, nor had children, there was something “wrong” with you. In the 90’s, it was ok to start in the late 20’s, pushing 30. Presently, with our technology, we’re pushing the age of bearing offspring farther back.

    Why are we doing this? We’re doing it in the name of travel, a satisfying career, sowing our wild oats, etc. I see this all as a failure. We’re shirking our biological responsibilities.

    The topic of replicating ourselves and possibly neglecting our children does not pertain to my series, in that you’re breaking off on cerebral tangents, when I only wish to discuss The Drive. The Drive is the only reason why we’re here.

    I don’t believe in the concept of a “stable environment” and a “suitable mate” is subjective to the nth degree.

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  4. Jenka, great minds and all that :-). Although I can’t relate to the desire of bearing children, however cute/”insert preferred moniker here” they may turn out.
    Good luck with your end of term activities.

    Z, I’m not sure anyone fully comprehends the complexity of human mating rituals. Mostly we do things due to a “sheep” mentality. Follow the leader and all that.
    I would be quick to judge young folks today as “morons” since we’re not longer living in the 19th/20th century. The sad reality is that youngings feel as if they are infalible and that “bad things” will not happen to them (thus the high incidence of VDs and pregnancy among them). Also, most of them don’t really think that their actions, at times, have dire consequences that they may not be prepared to deal with.

    Historically, society evolves around what is considered the norm, and we are expected to conform to that evolution regardless of what was in the “last century, the 80’s, or the 90’s”. From a logical stand-point, I’ve never thought that most 14-20 year olds today, or back then, have/had the psychological maturity to raise a contributing member of society. At 14, I was getting ready to leave Barringer HS, but still went home and played wiffle-ball/el quemao/la latica in the streets of Newark! And I consider myself to be matured beyond my years back then (you can destroy my thoughts of grandeur Z, since you knew me then! lol).

    “Why are we doing this?” you ask. Well, we’re pushing the age of bearing offspring further and further because society realizes that people NEED to saw their wild oats, gain financial stability, find a suitable mate etc. We may be shirking our physiological responsibilities, but confronting our psychological ones head on. As you said, being a good parent is not relatable to this discussion, so I won’t go into it.

    I agree that the Drive is the only reason we are here, but as I mentioned before, the Drive was there in the beginning for the perpetuation of the specie. To ensure that we would not become extinct. Now-a-days, with shrinking natural resources, the Drive may partially be there for the same reasons as before, but we’re becoming smarter about subjecting to it for that reason, as opposed to just for pleasure.

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  5. In the crudest, layman’s terms, in reference to the comments and Jenka’s own entry in this series, I think it’s fair to say I’m thinking with my giblets while the rest of your are thinking with your brains.

    No one is “wrong”. I don’t know what else to say.

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