About a week or so ago, a friend of mine gave me his perspective on a delicate matter. I respect his opinion one-hundred percent, mainly because the subject of his opinion fell under his jurisdiction, or expertise, so to speak.
The conversation has been running through my mind over and over, as I can’t tell if it was intentional or not, the fact that my friend was also talking about me. The conversation dealt with the topic of filling the voids in our lives.
Every step I take is marred with a stumble, and afterwards, I feel it is my duty to prevent the mistake from happening ever more. These are not the kind of every day mistakes we all commit. I speak of no trifles here, I haven’t the time. I speak of the mishaps that hurt, and the only one that hurts is the one committed by ourselves onto ourselves. I, nor you my friends, have the power to hurt anyone else. Now surely, I can cause you pain with an action as simple as taking a Louisville slugger to your kneecaps. But how does something as insignificant as physical pain compare to the pains of the metaphysical – highly abstract, subtle, or abstruse? It doesn’t. Not in my book. No, my friends. If someone hurts you, it was by your invitation alone. Eleanor Roosevelt taught us that much. But I digress.
My latest “mistake”, (I hate describing it as such, for it tears open the freshly healed wound, and because the word itself is dirty to me), has occurred in the form of filling the void. I blindsided myself, as did another friend of mine, and obviously due to the nature of my decrepit soul, I hurt myself. I filled a void within myself from without, and I did the same for a friend. The end result was pain. There was no other way for it to end. There is no one to blame for this mistake but myself.
I’m as influential as I am influenced. I’m sliced in half in that respect, so I can’t tell if and when I’m invited sincerely, by a healthy mind and heart, or merely to fill a void.
So I’ll end this with a warning:
Beware of the electric fence. Beware of the dog. Beware of me.
Keep your distance, and ignore my presence. I promise to do the same.
For if you commit the mistake of inviting me into your life, knowing you have not the mental and/or emotional faculties to deal with this abomination, I promise you nothing but pain – the kind that hurts.
But before the pain begins…
I can fill your void.