The key is to never quit quitting.

This little corner of mine on the internet was once semi-popular. I had a lot to say years ago. There are blogs I enjoy to visit where the author updates the viewer daily with snippets, humor, news, or what have you. Sometimes, I’m envious of the ability to just share the mundane. It’s how we get to know each other beyond first impressions, beyond the surface.

My blog has always dealt with some form of depression or suffering, or “radical” realization. Since making a few changes in my life some short years ago, I’ve had very little to share outside of one topic specifically. Hence, the need for this update.

I’m making yet another attempt to quit smoking. I’ve been told many times by They, “The more you try, the easier it gets. The key is to keep trying.” So, for perhaps the 5th time in three years, I’m giving it another shot. In my case, it doesn’t get easier with each attempt. The physical and psychological effects seem to compound with each attempt.

Some might ask, (and by some, I mean no one), “Why are you trying to quit?”  Well, I’ll tell you busybodies why: I’m just damn-straight tired of smoking. I’m tired of smelling it. I’m tired of tasting it. I’m tired of fatigue. I’m tired of dependence. I’m tired of addiction. I’m tired of regretting those first few smokes.

I’m tired of disappointing my wife. I’m tired of having her suffer my smell. I’m tired of my smell. I’m tired of having to go outside in shit weather to feed my habit. I’m tired of my little car serving as both a method of transport and an ashtray.  I’m tired of doubting the force of  my will.

I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.
I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.

…and if I haven’t mentioned it already, I’m tired of doubting the force of my will.

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,600 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 43 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Cowboy and Adam meet at the ranch.

Cowboy: A man’s attitude… a man’s attitude goes some ways. The way his life will be. Is that somethin’ you agree with? 
Adam Kesher: Sure. 
Cowboy: Now… did you answer cause you thought that’s what I wanted to hear, or did you think about what I said and answer cause you truly believe that to be right? 
Adam Kesher: I agree with what you said, truthfully. 
Cowboy: What’d I say? 
Adam Kesher: Uh… that a man’s attitude determines, to a large extent, how his life will be. 
Cowboy: So since you agree, you must be someone who does not care about the good life. 

Cowboy: Well, just stop for a little second and think about it. Will ya do that for me? 
Adam Kesher: [sarcastic tone] Okay, I’m thinking. 
Cowboy: No, you’re not thinkin’. You’re too busy being a smart aleck to be thinkin’. Now I want ya to “think” and stop bein’ a smart aleck. Can ya try that for me?

It’s isn’t an issue about race. Race is the undying distraction this country will always suffer

Philadelphia Mayor Nutter’s response to flash mobs, and my response.  Share your comments if you so desire.

I’m having a real tough time trying to formulate an appropriate response here, other than to say I agree wholeheartedly with what Mayor Nutter is saying and doing. I also very much agree with what Bill Cosby has said in the past. And I agree with what President Obama has said as well, in reference to sagging pants and manning up.

I was born and raised and lived all of my life up until recently in a neighborhood very much like Philadelphia; Newark, NJ. Even with a “rock star mayor” at the helm, my hometown’s supposed renaissance is suffering a most brutal backlash by the city’s criminal element. The honest, hard-working, working class citizens are the ones who are suffering while the riff raff run wild.

In the past six months, a police officer, a corrections officer, and a teacher have been murdered in cold blood.  This is not to count the scores of regular citizens who have lost their lives this year to gun violence.

There is no amount of outside dollars that can fix this. There are no songs to sing, or marches to march, or internet articles that will change the culture of crime in the United States’ poorest cities. It will have to be fixed at home. There are no societal cultures that will save my home city. There is only the culture of self-accountability and personal responsibility.

It wasn’t a societal culture that saved me. It was my own sense of self-worth. Everything starts at home, and everything starts with child-rearing, regardless of the dire environment.

Twitterfacegooglebookplus. And why I love it all.

You know, what I love most about all of these social networking sites, both past and present, is that they are nothing if not an exact, and well lit, and crystal clear mirror of our society. Future sites, and the improvements to existing sites will serve as nothing more than greater reflections.

Liars are greater liars.  The self-absorbed suck themselves in more, sharing only their best photo-shopped angle.  The miserable will update relentlessly in search of company.  The drunks will post more embarrassing pictures, or have to remove endless tags from photos others have posted in their honor.  There will be a never-ending stream of pics from “the models”.  My favorites are of people well past the age of beauty’s prime.  (Never give up!)  The invitations to endless events in the name of making their creators pillars of their outdated, crumbling scenes will be a’plenty as well.  At present, I’m enjoying it all.

I had a dream the other night.  In the dream there came a time when people rejected the requests of so-called friends.  And people rejected invites to the same fucking bar.  And people rejected gifts from third-party information thieves.  And people rejected their own status updates before posting them, leaving their pages empty.  And people stopped posting YouTube videos as if they invented the contents of the clip, (much like I just did with Papa Jo Jones and Joe Morello on my profile).

I woke up before the end of the dream.  I’m dying to see the ending.  In the meantime, I’m enjoying this means to the end.